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Breaking up or separating from a toxic or high conflict partner can be a difficult and challenging experience. It is important to understand that the person you married may not have been who they portrayed themselves to be.
This article will explore ten things you can expect when going through a breakup or separation from such a partner.
- The 5 Inappropriate Times to Break Up with Your Partner
- 20 Signs to Look Out For that Show Your Partner Misses Their Ex
1. Lack of self-confidence
You may discover that your partner was not as self-confident as they appeared. They may seek attention from others to compensate for the lack of attention they received in their childhood.
Their constant need for praise and admiration from others stems from their inability to internally validate their self-worth.
2. Constant search for validation
Your partner’s constant search for “narcissistic supply” will lead them to seek praise and affirmation from numerous individuals.
They may go through a cycle of partners, constantly seeking attention to prove their self-worth. It is important to understand that your adulations will never be enough for them.
3. Hidden infidelity
Unable to fill their empty void, toxic partners are notorious for infidelity and unfaithfulness. You may discover that your partner had a hidden cache of women or other sources of narcissistic supply.
They may have been addicted to seeking sexual gratification through social media, dating sites, or even with prostitutes.
4. Maintaining a façade
To maintain their façade of normalcy, your partner may do whatever it takes to hold on to the marriage.
They may put on a show of being a loving parent, joining various organizations and arranging play dates, all while abusing you and your children. It is important to recognize their manipulative behavior and protect yourself and your children.
5. Cycling through different personas
If their initial attempts to maintain control fail, your partner may cycle through different personas. They may promise to change, play the victim, or act self-assured.
Their fear of losing the emotional supply you provided will drive them to desperate measures to hold on to their identity and narcissistic supply.
6. Threats and manipulation
If their attempts to regain control fail, your partner may resort to threats and manipulation. They may try to convince you that you will never find someone as perfect as them, or they may turn angry and threaten to take away custody or financial support.
Remember, these tactics are driven by their own insecurities and need for power.
7. Begging for attention and reconciliation
If their previous tactics do not work, your partner may resort to begging for attention and reconciliation. They may try different methods to establish contact, including threatening self-harm or suicide.
It is important to stay strong and remember that their change is temporary and not driven by genuine love for you or your children.
8. Abrupt disappearance
If your partner is the one discarding you, they may suddenly disappear without providing any closure.
They may not care about finishing the divorce process and may go to great lengths to prove to others that you are the unstable one. This behavior is driven by their need to maintain their constructed façade of normalcy.
9. Confusion and heartbreak
Once you realize that the person you married was not who they appeared to be, you may experience confusion and heartbreak.
It is important to seek counseling and support to help you heal and move forward from the brokenness caused by the toxic relationship.
10. Seeking professional help
Even the strongest individuals can be left broken by a toxic or high conflict partner. Seeking counseling and professional help is crucial in order to heal and rebuild your life after the breakup or separation.
A trained professional can provide guidance and support as you navigate the challenges of moving on.
This article was updated 9 months ago
